Okay, so, Eddie chose Moesha on Tuesday,
and then on Wednesday we'll watch...
- Wings. - Come on, dude!
We divide the TV schedule evenly and fairly.
And Thomas Haden Church is hilarious.
Boys, I did a little reorganizing,
and not to brag, but the pantry looks incredible.
You know how Mom is about that space.
It's her spiritual sanctuary.
- Dead man walking. - Oh, you guys are wrong.
She's gonna love the changes to the pantry.
What about the pantry?
See for yourself.
♪
Louis, you're a genius.
The bulk items have never been more accessible.
And the canned goods are organized by expiration date.
Kiss ass.
What was that?
Another postcard from Connie.
"Dear Jessica, having a great time in Ithaca.
Hope things are well with you.
Love, Connie."
Hmm.
Ithaca, New York.
Bloomington, Indiana.
Athens, Georgia.
Why is she going to all these amazing places?
Well, we all can't afford to travel as much as Connie does.
I have responsibilities.
I can't just leave whenever I want to.
I mean, do I think about it?
Of course I do. All the time.
It would be so easy. I would just get a pair of glasses,
buy a leather jacket, and roll my own cigarettes.
But I would never do that
because I am an adult.
I'm gonna get down to the bottom of this.
Sister.
So nice to hear from you.
How are things?
I've been visiting colleges.
Already?
But Justin is only in the ninth grade.
Even I think that's too early to be visiting colleges.
Oh, it's not for Justin. It's for me.
I'm going back to school.
♪ Fresh off the boat
♪ I'm gettin' mine everywhere I go ♪
♪ If you don't know, homey, now you know ♪
♪ Fresh off the boat
♪ Homey, you don't know where I come from ♪
♪ But I know where I'm goin'
♪ I'm fresh off the boat
My name is Samantha de la Cruz,
and I would like to buy a one-way ticket to Marrakesh,
smoking section.
Hey, Jessica.
Nothing. I'm just setting the table.
Ooh. The fancy napkins.
Did someone die?
No. Connie's coming, remember,
to visit college campuses in the area?
Classic Connie.
We'd all love to go back to school,
audit a German class, get good at beer pong,
but we are adults.
We have responsibilities.
I support Connie 100%.
Me too. She's so brave, you know?
None of us have the guts.
It's just such a big step for her.
Connie never went to college,
unless you count beauty school, which nobody does.
She'll be able to get a degree, get a great job,
provide for her family without having to rely
on her husband for financial support.
Steve does love the ponies...
and the doggies and the roosters.
She's finally taking control of her life.
If you think about it,
Connie is trying to be more like me.
Respect.
Hello, Jessica.
Hello, Louis.
Connie.
Welcome.
I'm so glad to see you.
Yes, come in. Come in.
Thanks so much for having me.
I have to say, I just think it's great
that you're going to college, Connie.
I'm proud of you, big sister.
Really?
Yes!
Let me know what I can do to help.
In college, I took notes for a blind student.
She said they were the best she'd ever gotten.
W-Well, maybe you can come with me on a campus tour tomorrow.
Yes! I would love to do that!
The key is color-coding when you take notes.
Free tip.
Uh, I'm working,
so we have to figure out what to do with the boys
since Ma's out of town.
Oh, where's Grandma Huang?
She's visiting friends in Tallahassee.
Her "friends" are Seminole Indians,
and "Tallahassee" is a small casino next to a swamp.
Honey and Marvin said they would take care of the boys
any time we needed.
You can stay in Grandma's room. Come on.
I'll show you what I want to do with it when she... moves.
♪ You wonder why ♪
♪ Maybe God ♪
The Color Purple is so emotional.
When Miss Millie wouldn't let Sofia go see her son?
On Christmas!
What kind of animals?
What... kind... of animals?
I would have quit, too.
She had no choice.
The Color Purple.
More like The Color of White Cruelty. Mm-hmm.
Oh, this is my favorite part. Me too!
♪ Maybe ♪ ♪ Maybe ♪
♪ God is ♪ ♪ God is ♪
♪ Trying ♪ ♪ Trying ♪
♪ To tell you something ♪
I'll go high. You go low.
♪ Maybe ♪ ♪ God is ♪
♪ Trying ♪
♪ To tell you something ♪
Oh, such a strong alto for such a petite frame.
We are so good!
♪ Tell you ♪
♪ To tell you something, ooh ♪
This is what a dog must feel like all the time!
Life is truly a wonder.
I'm eating bugs, and I don't care!
Well, I have a fun day planned.
You all ready? - Yeah!
Marvin didn't even tell me what we're doing.
Ahh.
An old-folks home? Are we visiting someone?
In a manner of speaking, yes.
We're visiting our future home.
You... You want us to move in here?
Well, not for a while yet.
Two, maybe three years.
But I'm 28.
Whoa! A limousine!
Hi. Hi.
This takes me back.
The smell of higher education,
the crack of a ramen brick over a steaming-hot plate.
Uh-huh.
Oh, wow.
Hey, look at their skinny briefcases.
Must be the hot new style in business.
And I didn't realize this was a women's college.
Those are art portfolios.
That's a man.
A man?
A creative man.
This is the Orlando School of Art and Design.
What?
This is art school.
I'm studying to be an artist.
Ohhhh.
I'm Janet. I'll be your student tour guide
or, as I like to think of myself,
your creative-journey chaperone.
We're being led around by a lunatic.
Our first stop will be the student center.
Built back in 1945...
Why would you go to college for art?
Since when do you care about painting?
I didn't until a few months ago.
But then Steve and I got into a fight, and I was upset,
so I went to the National Gallery of Art
because they have a good hot dog vendor outside.
Mm-hmm. I was getting relish
when I saw a banner for the Vermeer exhibit.
It's so... so moving.
Ma'am, there's no food allowed inside the museum.
Oh.
Vermeer not only captured daily Dutch life in the 1600s,
but also my mood that day.
Mm.
After that, I got inspired to paint,
and, turns out, I'm pretty good at it, so here we are.
All of the artists
sit on the ground among the leaves or...
Keep your handbag close. There's a magician at 10:00.
- Oh, Dean Edwards. - Janet.
"This world is
but a canvas to our imaginations."
Henry David Thoreau.
What?
Enjoy the rest of the tour.
Dean Edwards runs our weekly free-expression village.
You should all come.
It's a safe space for students
to express their creative selves
through a wide range of mediums.
There's no safe space from your parents' disappointment.
Yeah. Think about that.
Oh, isn't it great?
It's like an all-inclusive land cruise
for the rest of our lives.
You want us to move in here?
Hopefully. We're on the wait list.
We need some folks to cash in their chips first,
buy the farm, you know, take the trip up north.
Marvin, I'm not...
Whoa! They've got a Ping-Pong table,
board games, shuffleboard, and even a pudding bar.
Don't forget love.
I bet those two have stories.
Oh, I'm sure they do.
All the people here are top-notch.
This is the best place in the state.
Honey, take a look around. See what you think.
Okay. Sure. Can't hurt to look.
Dinner's at 4:00! I love this place!
Look at her,
just painting without any cares in the world.
It's nice you're being so supportive.
She's really in her element. It's wonderful.
Wonderful? She's wasting her time.
But I thought you were happy she was going back to school.
School? That's what she calls it.
I call it a hippie birdbath.
I can't keep up.
Oh, Jessica, do you have any scrap fabric lying around?
I want to make a collage.
I don't, but if I did, I would use it
for something practical, like rags.
And there's my real sister.
I was wondering where you went.
I just don't understand
why you would waste your time on art school.
Do you really think you're gonna make a living
selling your paintings?
I'm not going to school to make money.
I'm doing it for personal enrichment.
Sounds like a waste of the word "rich."
I knew you couldn't actually be happy for me.
Well, I don't need your approval.
I'm going to the fabric store to buy supplies.
Let me know if you need any zippers or threads or glitter pens!
Lillian, look at these two cuties.
Such sweet faces.
I wish I could just put them in my pocket.
Don't look them in the eye.
We'll be here all day, so maybe we'll run into you later.
What are you doing?
What are you talking about?
Ain't you a livin' doll?
You're so cute.
Ooh! Like a chipmunk.
Chippy, chippy, chippy!
You did this to us!
Hi. Welcome. You must be Mr. McManus.
It says here you have a cat
and you don't like to be touched.
Is that right?
Don't worry. We're gonna take good care of your dad.
Oh, this guy.
Are the other doctors as funny as you?
I'm a nurse.
A male nurse? You can't stop this guy.
He's got a million of them.
He's not Mr. McManus. No.
We just signed up for the day passes.
Oh, got it. Oh, well, here you go.
Uh, why don't you keep these on you
so we know you're approved guests?
What does "Do not resuscitate" mean?
Oh, sorry. Wrong ones.
♪
New open house?
Oh, two and a half baths. Nice.
I'm counting the water-heater closet as a half-bathroom.
Well, that's why you're the best.
No, I'm the best because I work hard...
because that is what responsible adults do.
They don't waste their time making collages.
Look, I get that you don't agree with it,
but it's Connie's life.
She can do what she wants.
I should have known better
than to think that Connie could change.
She's just as irresponsible as ever.
Art school?
Two nonsense words that don't even belong together.
It's like "tire lemon."
Or "pistachio belt."
No. See? Now, that makes sense to me.
It's an easy way to snack on the go.
I just wish they made pistachio belts!
I'm sorry. I just don't get why it's such a big deal.
Ugh. Ew. Ah.
Why are we in the back of the garage?
This is the spiders' land.
We don't go into their home, they don't come into ours.
Ugh! I'm sorry! Get off me!
Louis, I have to show you something.
Please don't think less of me.
Old paintings?
Jessica, let's just get out of here.
I don't have a good feeling about this.
I painted them.
What?
You paint?
I used to... every day.
This one is called Bagel.
This is Seashell,
Horse and Foal,
Unemployed Virgin,
Avocados Resting in Bowl,
Timothy Looks at Rebecca...
Zebra and Giraffe,
Zebra in Top Hat,
Zebra in Shorts,
Dan Quayle.
What's all this?
My paintings, Connie.
I love to paint, too,
long before your hot dogs and Girl With Pearl Earring.
Why didn't you tell me about this?
Are you jealous?
Why would I be jealous?
Because you quit your dream and I'm living mine.
No.
I love painting, but I gave it up before I went to college
because I knew I had to grow up and get serious.
And that's what you should do, too.
I'm not giving up painting. It's my passion.
Guys, we're all sisters here.
Now let's just get out of the spider den,
crack open some wine...
Passion? Who has time to pursue a passion?
I make time because it makes me happy
and helps me be better in all the other parts of my life.
It doesn't make you better. It makes you selfish.
Your family should come first, Connie.
Do you even know where your son is?
Where is he? Where is he, Connie?
With his father, most likely at Brookstone
checking out a high-tech aquarium!
♪ I'm just hangin' out ♪
♪ Hangin' out ♪
Whoa!
♪ Hangin' out ♪
♪ I'm just hangin' out ♪
♪ Hangin' out ♪
It hurts. It hurts to smile.
Honey?
Why are you running?
I'm 28. I can run at any moment.
You're running barefoot like a bum in a hurry.
That's what we young people do, Evan.
We run because we have our whole lives ahead of us.
Do you think you should slow down a little?
Slow down?
No. I'm gonna slow up.
That's what I'm gonna do.
Aah! Ugh! Aaaah!
My hip!
What are you doing?
It's time to get rid of these.
I don't know why I kept them in the first place.
They're terrible. No!
This is a great one.
What a beautiful kangaroo.
It's The Resurrection of Christ.
Yeah. Of course it is.
Louis, you don't have to pretend.
I know they're not good.
Okay. They're not great.
It doesn't matter. You should still paint.
It's a hobby, and the great thing about hobbies is,
you don't have to be good at them.
You just have to enjoy them.
Hobbies? That's ridiculous.
I only focus on practical things.
You've seen my morning affirmations.
I can't afford hobbies. I have work and this family.
Well, I have work and this family, and I have hobbies...
uh, pool, chili, tennis, the clarinet.
Clarinet? I'm a sucker for a distinctive timbre.
Can you imagine trying to explain to our parents
the idea of hobbies?
"Dad, in my free time... Sorry.
First, I have free time, something you never had.
And in that time, I do activities I enjoy
that cost money but don't bring in any profit
and don't benefit my family.
No. I just do them because they feel good,
because I like the timbre"?
That was a different time, Jessica.
Our parents were in survival mode.
We're not.
We've earned the right
to carve out a little space for our interests.
I don't know. It just doesn't feel right.
Well, they would want that for us,
the way we want a better life for our kids.
It's hard to find the time.
You spent the last hour fighting with your sister.
You can find the time.
And it was nice seeing you two get along for a change.
Look, I know you thought Connie was trying to be
more like you, but maybe this time
you could try to be a little more like Connie.
You went through a real zebra phase, huh?
This one is my favorite.
That's a piano.
Well, here we are, home, sweet home, huh?
Okay. There you go. Careful.
Take it easy.
Thank you.
Here. This will make you feel better.
It's a grandma package.
I'm 28.
You are.
Here. It's an ice pack for your hip.
I used it on my cheeks earlier.
It really works.
And have a Combo.
They're pepperoni-flavored.
We should go. I'm all out of small talk.
Thanks for a fun day.
Thanks, boys. You're good kids.
- Feel better. - Bye!
Take care!
We are good kids, aren't we?
We're okay.
I'm sorry you had such a bad time today.
Oh.
I really thought you'd like it there.
The place was fine.
It's just... It's for the end of people's lives.
And we're just at the beginning of ours.
Well, I don't know about the beginning.
Maybe a little more middle.
Look, I know there's an age difference between us,
but I just never think about it.
And being there, that's all I could think about.
As much as I hate to think about it,
I want to be sure that you're taken care of
if something happens to me.
I don't want you to be alone.
Marvin, that is so sweet, but I won't be alone.
I knew it.
Who is he?
Is it Alec Baldwin?
Yes, Marvin, it's Alec Baldwin.
Alec, he knows!
Come on out from under the couch!
No. I meant that I won't be alone here.
Uh-huh. Look at our community.
Our best friends live next door.
Yeah.
I'm gonna be okay.
And so are you.
These are good,
but my favorite Combo is still Honey and Marvin.
Am I the cheese or the cracker tube?
Why don't you come over here and find out?
♪ Sister ♪
♪ You've been on my mind ♪
♪ Oh, sister ♪
♪ We're two of a kind ♪
♪ So, sister ♪
♪ I'm keepin' my eyes on you ♪
♪ I bet you think I don't know nothin' ♪
♪ But singin' the blues ♪
♪ Oh, sister ♪
♪ Have I got news for you ♪
♪ I'm somethin' ♪
I don't know this song.
♪ I hope you think that you're somethin', too ♪
♪ Oh, scufflin' ♪
♪ I been up that lonesome road ♪
♪ And I seen a lot of suns going down ♪
♪ Oh, but trust me ♪
♪ No lowlife's gonna run me around ♪
♪ So let me tell you somethin', sister ♪
♪ Remember your name ♪
♪ No twister ♪
♪ Gonna steal your stuff away ♪
♪ My sister ♪
♪ We sure ain't got a whole lot of time ♪
♪ So, shake your shimmy, sister ♪
♪
Surprise!
Welcome to your new painting room.
I'm not gonna lie.
I screamed a lot getting rid of all the spiders.
Oh, Louis, I love it. Thank you.
Oh, I see you kept Untitled Number Three.
It's one of my favorites.
Okay. I'm gonna go pack the boys' lunches.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I am going to make the lunches today.
You paint and enjoy.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no.
I can also water the plants. You paint.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no.
I'll also yell at Eddie.
And praise Evan.
Captions by VITA...