There's nothing like seeing a child on stage for the first time.
They get up there, the lights hit...
and suddenly, the whole world opens up.
Theater for children, it's unbelievable what they learn.
They learn to improvise, dance, sing, work with each other...
and some of them really need it, they really do.
That's why I built this camp.
I wanted to make a place where anyone is free to be themselves.
But keeping the camp open is a year-round job.
That's why we spend the whole spring on the road...
raising money, recruiting young talent.
And, you know, we're theater people, so.
We know how to work a crowd.
Being at camp for a whole summer, what it can do for a child.
- We don't have that much room left. - We have not much room.
No, we have a little bit of wiggle room at the camp.
Maybe four more kids?
- And we're almost full... - We are.
so I think you should register early for your girl.
For sure.
And Ronald, I'm so sorry to hear about your divorce.
- I know. - I mean, she was just too young.
But if your son needs a place to go...
AdirondACTS is the perfect place for him to come.
We found a lot of star campers at this school.
I know Willow was freaked out by the bedbugs, tell her they're gone.
Why are you smiling?
He drives me crazy. He's practically drunk.
- I know. - But I think we got him to sign up his kid.
We're so behind this year.
We need to raise more money.
I know. I was thinking we could give Leo a lead.
Leo? No.
He's awful.
I know he's awful and he's tone-deaf, but his parents are really rich.
Oh, come on. You know we don't do things that way.
It's always gotta be about the talent.
- How rich? - So rich.
If you're really sincere If you're really sincere
If you feel it in here
Then it's gotta be right Oh, baby
- Look at him. - Oh, honey
- Sebastian? - I know.
He is giving 110%.
Suffer
Sebastian! - Oh, oh, oh, you gotta be sincere
Oh, oh, oh, you gotta feel it in here
- Oh, my God! Joan! - Oh, my baby
Joan!
This is... Somebody help me! Somebody help me.
She's not breathing.
This is not part of the show.
I need help!
It's beautiful.
What's up, Troy-jans? It's your boy, Troy.
Just right off the bat, wanna keep it real with you guys...
feeling a little naked without my ring light. But you know what?
We still out here.
As you guys know, I don't usually like to talk about my...
To be honest, I've been going through some low-key personal stuff lately...
and I just feel obligated to let you guys know that.
Long story short...
theater gave my mom a coma.
She's down for the count for...
we really don't know how long.
Unfortunately, that's just kinda how comas go.
But fear not, fam.
Even though I never really vibed with my mom's camp...
and spent my summers doing dope shit with my friends...
I happen to be a financial guru...
and world-renowned business mentor.
Yeah, I do that kind of stuff.
Your boy has the BDE.
That's right. The business development expertise...
to hold down the fort.
Oh, my God, there's a person.
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
I was in here fixing the blinds, and then you came in...
and I panicked and stayed.
I'm Glenn. I'm the technical director.
How you doing, man?
Over the next three weeks, I'm gonna give you an inside look...
at how I can take a business from lame... to lit.
Let's build.
The most pressing matters are in the main stage.
Right now, the cyclorama is buckling. It needs to be re-anchored.
We're gonna need to prioritize the remaining equipment for the musicals...
which means the straight plays are gonna have to be acoustic.
Which is actually how they do it on Broadway.
Can I just cut you off? Real quick.
It seems like you've got a pretty good handle on this...
- Yeah. - ... so I'm just gonna take...
"understanding a word you're saying..."
off my list...
- and let you take it from here, brother. - Okay.
Quick question, though, what's a straight play?
Well, there are musicals and then there are straight plays.
So then what would be a gay play?
I guess a musical.
Cool.
I like this one. Okay. Thanks. Okay.
Yes. Yes!
Wait, we have to bunk together.
We have to.
So, I think you're in bunk five, Ellen.
Okay, 'kay, 'kay. That's good. That's good.
Great, great. Great. What's he doing? Perfect.
Okay. Hi, everybody. Welcome back.
Mickey, Nicky. Nicky, Mickey, Mickey, Nicky. Who knows?
Don't switch shirts. I'll get too confused.
Beck, stop. Beck, stop the car.
-Let me in. - I am letting you in.
-It's not opening. - I'm letting you in.
Oh, God.
I've been here 10 minutes and it's unbearable.
Oh, my God!
He's, like, wandering about.
- He has no idea where he is, what he's doing. - He can't see?
- No, he only talks to his camera. - Oh, my God.
The least creative person I've ever met, and I've yet to speak to the man.
Play ball.
She's hot.
And half the staff has been cut. They're not even coming back.
We need a coup.
Well, there's not even enough of us to have a coup now.
- Oh, my God. - Jesus.
- She wouldn't even want it. - No.
We really have to hold this place down artistically.
- I can't believe that Joan's not here. - I can't believe it.
All I was doing was blowing the roof off of Honestly, Sincere in Bye Bye Birdie.
Then I look over to my house seats and there's Joan, convulsing.
- What? - It was frightening.
- I obviously stayed in character. - That's not reading.
All right. Let's take a knee with the talking, fam.
Listen up!
Keep it down.
Fam?
Squad? Gang?
Maybe zip it?
Everybody.
Can we just get you guys to...
Oh, what a beautiful
Morning
Dope.
That was dope.
Whaddup, AdirondACTS?
You guys know Joan, right?
Joan, Joan, Joan!
Yeah, so she's not here.
You know, which we're all very sad about.
But don't worry.
I'm her son.
Troy!
Don't worry, guys.
I just wanna reassure you this will be a normal summer.
You can check out my website.
- Yeah, go ahead. Yeah. - We're good. Thanks so much.
Hi, guys.
We love you, Gigi!
So a few reminders.
I just need to know all of your updated sizes.
Also, sad news, I will not be doing piercings anymore in the hut.
Yeah. Because there's a narc amongst us.
Cassie has narced.
It's totally fine. Yeah.
Okay, I love you guys.
Love you.
As you all know, I'm Amos Klobuchar, head of drama.
Rebecca-Diane, head of music theory.
We are now going to announce, as we do every summer...
this session's productions.
Five, six, seven, eight.
There once was a story 'Bout a girl named Lisa
She wanted to perform But she didn't have her visa
Sorry about your visa, Lisa Five, six, seven, eight
Playing baseball with the devil in a baseball diamond.
Damn Yankees in the outdoor stage.
Who goes there?
Is it a ghost?
Is it a witch?
The Crucible junior in the lobby.
In the land of Andrew Lloyd Where the felines sing and dance
Whisker faced in unitards You can join their feral prance
Cats immersive.
Well, I guess that's all, folks.
I gotta start walking home.
I'm taking a cab.
An original piece And it's fully brand new
And it's fresh from our hearts Written just for you
But you've gotta be good, yeah You've gotta be great
You've gotta be the crème de la crème Of the place
This summer it's a story...
About a woman in her glory.
The founding of a space...
That has become our favorite place.
A woman who all in this room deeply love.
And she's looking down, not quite from above.
Joan can...
Joan will...
Joan here?
Joan, Still!
Your resume is absolutely stacked.
- Thank you. - Yeah.
How did you learn stage combat?
Oh, man.
It's hard to even say 'cause I've been doing it for so long.
- Totally. - Yeah.
How about accent work?
You no worry. I can do it, no worry.
That's really neat.
How about horseback riding?
- Jousting? Is that like with the...? - Yeah.
That is with those. Yeah.
And then when did you learn how to juggle?
Well, there was a fire at my house.
And that's sort of how I dealt with the trauma.
Wow!
Yes. Progressions across the floor. Very nice, both of you, yes.
Front.
Higher. Higher.
Listen, these are some chassé battements.
You're doing a little cheater flick.
I am running late for my niece's christening.
I don't want to find another therapist, David.
Welcome, group two of auditioners.
I know it's been a long day for you guys, but...
If you drop a line, or a note is a little off-key...
you crack or something...
just, what does that say about you?
Yo.
Sorry I'm late.
I don't think you were...
Emma, 10, has a goldfish named Johnny.
And she's gonna kick us off with "I Dreamed a Dream" from Les Mis.
You know what? That's a good song choice for her.
I do believe her as a French prostitute.
Amos.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Sex worker.
Thank you.
There's a hole in the world Like a great black pit
And it's filled with people Who are filled with shit
And the vermin in the world inhabit it
But not for long
Darla, 15, is 2,073 on the IMDb Star Meter.
What if when he sees me I like him and he knows it
This is an example of a kid who started working way too young.
And I can't close it?
- You got snacks? - No, I don't have anything.
And even if Karen were hotter than Sharon I still would've filed for divorce
That rhythm was wrong. Can we do that again?
That was the last time I laid eyes on
Margaret Thatcher
Though we all deserve to die
Even you, Mrs. Lovett Even I
It says you're allergic to polyester. Why?
Devon, 13. He has a green belt in taekwondo.
You know, I think that I'm better now Better now
You only say that 'cause I'm not around Not around
You know I never meant to let you down Let you down
Would've gave you anything Would've gave you everything
You know, I think that I am better now Better now
You only say that 'cause I'm not around Not around
You know I never meant to let you down Let you down
Would've gave you anything Would've gave you everything
Whoa
That's what's up, dawg. Finally.
- Can you clear now, please? Thank you. - That was bussin'.
Inappropriate to give feedback during the audition.
- Yeah. - Please don't internalize that.
It's Devon?
- Yeah. - Your first summer?
- Here? - Yeah.
- Yes. - Yeah.
Do you know any other Post songs that you could like, rattle off the dome...
like maybe Wow or Congratulations...
or the one from the Spider-Verse soundtrack?
Abby, 11, chose this session over sitting shiva for her cousin.
Putting the work first.
- Excuse me, I just need a second. - Ma'am, you can't be back here.
I'm sorry.
Hi.
My name's Caroline Krauss. I'm a rep from Camp Lakeside.
Shut up!
Turn down your music!
This is a bucolic setting!
Okay, well, whatever it is you're selling, we don't want any.
I was actually here to introduce myself to the new boss.
Is there... Is Troy here?
I am so sorry to hear about your mom.
My entire team at Barnswell Capital is sending healing thoughts.
Wait, Barnswell Capital? Like the Barnswell Capital?
Yeah.
Your work is so inspiring.
I mean, the Gentri-vacation Project.
I have to say Gentri-vacation was my brainchild.
- Wow, you know... - You know...
- I'm sorry. - You go.
I was just gonna say that you seem to know a lot about business.
I'm a bit of a money man myself.
You know, I've been trying to bring some of my...
en-Troy-preneurship to the AdirondACTS.
That's funny. That's catchy, en-Troy.
- My name's Troy. - I know.
I understood it completely the first time I heard it.
Yeah.
That's kind of what we're doing with Lakeside.
- Yeah? - Yeah, we recently acquired it...
so I'm doing kind of a complete overhaul...
- of the management structure. - Wow!
I think it's commendable what you're doing here.
Taking on the burden of your mother's condition.
Yeah.
And her struggling business.
That's gotta be so much weight on your shoulders.
Yeah. It is.
Excuse me. So sorry.
This is an active work zone.
I'm gonna need you to vacate the area.
Just one moment.
Troy, I think this could be an exciting opportunity for the both of us.
Wow. Yeah.
You know what?
I'm gonna need this exact space to get up really high for some work.
Look, Troy, I don't need to tell you that the bank has filed a notice of default.
- What? - And it's not news to you, of course...
that they're weeks away from foreclosing on this place.
No, that's definitely not news to me.
Listen, I think I can help you get out of this jam.
I know I speak on behalf of my entire board of directors...
when I say that Barnswell Capital...
would love to get into bed with AdirondACTS.
Tell them how I am defying gravity
I'm flying high defying gravity
I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt that conversation.
That was very out of character for me.
- A little brazen... - Hey, you can't tell anyone...
about this foreclosure thing, okay?
It's between me and you.
Yeah. Our little secret.
But I do think you should know...
Barnswell Capital, they're not people that we should be getting into bed with.
Lakeside is the enemy.
They've been trying to get this land for a very long time...
and I think Joan's success is, in large part, due to the fact that she has leaned on us...
AdirondACTS family...
and your mother used to say...
"We're theater people. We know how to turn cardboard into gold."
Bring me down
- What? - Oh, my God.
Troy.
Okay, you're not ruining my final note.
Yeah.
I really need to start reading the mail.
Peters, Foster, Streisand, LuPone
Give us a role we can make our own
Audra McDonald, Idina Menzel
We are gay witches, and this is our spell
- Move on. We're gonna move on. - Okay.
Okay. What about this? The Crucible or Cats?
I think that she's in the running for Tituba.
- No. - In the running.
How are we gonna talk about Tituba when we haven't picked a Proctor?
Do you think you could channel her for us?
Just try. I know you don't like to do it on command...
but maybe Joan has some wisdom to offer in this moment.
- Here in this situation room. - I would love to...
Oh, I wanna talk to her.
Please do it.
I have so many things to tell her.
- Joan! - Joan.
Joan, are you there?
- Are you here, Joan? - Guys, real quick.
- Joan, speak to us. - I'm gonna head out...
just 'cause the candles and kids thing...
- is making me feel a little bit weird. - We don't have that much time to begin with.
- Thank you. - That's fine. Please.
- Oh, my God! - Can we get back to the business at hand?
Can we open up the discussion in terms of Lolas?
I'm just gonna throw a name out. Chantal.
- Chantal. Yes, Chantal. - It's exactly what I was thinking. Chantal.
- Chantal. Chantal. - Chantal.
Which one... Okay. Chantal.
- Yes, yes. Okay, Chantal. She's going where?
- Damn Yankees. - I'm just worried she doesn't have...
No, don't place her there!
I'm worried she doesn't have the sexuality to play it.
Obviously, everyone on this board is a virgin...
- but Chantal seems like a virgin... - I agree.
- ... the minute that she steps into a room. - Her name.
I don't wanna see Chantal in a feather.
- I hate to admit that it's a great point. - Okay, let's just table the virgins.
Well, can't we get her there?
- Get her there? How do we get her there? - Get her there? What do you want us to do?
I don't know how you get a virgin there.
You get them there.
Okay. Where do you think this one goes?
Well, it looks like it was some kind of short.
- Did you check the... - Breakers?
Yeah, I killed them already.
Wow, that's really pretty, Glenn.
Okay.
- You want him and Sebastian in Joan? - Listen. Hey, how about...
I have no one.
- You take Sean, we'll take Sebastian. - All right.
- Now we have a deal. - All right. All right.
- He can be Mr. Mistoffelees. - Okay. Okay.
- Put him in there. - Okay. Sean is Mistoffelees.
If we can have Darla for Joan, Still.
You can have Darla.
I'm sorry. For what in Joan, Still?
To play Joan. Old Joan.
She's not even on my list.
- She's obviously the best one. - Joan is the most organic...
and warm person that I know.
It emanates from her...
and Darla, it's sort of like, put on and then another layer...
put on and then another layer, put on...
- Like all of the work she's done... - I find her so free.
All the sets she's been on just reek on her.
Just sit with it for a second.
Please don't disappoint Joan.
Campers...
the cast lists are up.
- Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! - Out of the way!
Out of the way!
Out of my way!
Am I going to be a cat?
Little person coming through.
I'm so proud of you.
You've got to hear her sing, Marty.
She just booked the title role in Joan, Still...
... and I'm this close to signing her.
She's the whole package.
- My daughter is a genius. - I hear you loud and clear.
Believe me, you're not the only one who's upset.
- I've been getting a lot of calls. - Jesus Christ.
How dare you do this to my daughter?
I seriously need to come down there and do something...
if my daughter is not the lead by tomorrow.
Ma'am, again, I was not involved in the casting decision.
I will be sure to pass that on.
But in the meantime, if you wanna bribe me...
- I am very open to... - Troy, right?
- Are you listening to me? - Hold on one second.
Hi, yes.
- Hi. I'm Darla. - Hi, Darla.
I just wanna thank you for entrusting me to inhabit your mother in Joan, Still.
Wasn't me who made the decision, but of course.
I'd love to have a sit-down.
Go over her mannerisms, tics...
favorite foods and traumas.
Right on.
Do you happen to have her dream journal?
- Dream journal. You might have to come back. - Troy...
all the freezers were out last night, so the meat turned.
So what do we serve for lunch?
I'll come back later.
Have a big breakfast.
Rita.
Class...
to dance is the highest expression...
of human existence.
Acting is remembering and then choosing to forget.
Music is the closest thing we have to the other side.
Mask work.
Who's next?
So, I'm gonna be teaching you guys a little fashion history...
and we're gonna really look closely at the period costuming.
I see...
clavicle realness.
Showing off the clav.
You need to know when to use a clavicle.
Right.
It's once a week.
This is me at Coachella.
Kind of cross-faded. I'm looking for my friend, Chad.
I was running. "Chad!"
I'm hating everything about this except for the...
peekaboo vaginal sleeve.
Characterization.
Let's say it.
- Characterization. - Characterization.
It's time to dive in to our first exercise.
Somebody wants to maybe give it a shot?
Anybody.
Nobody?
Darla, why don't you come up here and demonstrate with me?
So Darla is going to say just a basic fact about me...
anything that she observes.
Just anything that comes to mind when you look at me.
No wrong answers. Just throw something out.
You're an acting teacher.
Okay. I'm gonna stop you right there.
So that's actually wildly opinionated.
That was a really simplistic way of looking at it.
I am a performer who works full time as an acting teacher.
Right?
Sing that back to me.
Now we're gonna do a little bit of an exercise...
to just strengthen our mouths.
I was with Al Gore By the old cheese store
And he brought his own bag From the ocean floor
Wolf Blitzer has a blister on his upper lip.
You are a family...
of influencers.
The mom is the manager.
You're dating a basketball player...
but he's constantly cheating on you.
And if that isn't enough, all your names start with the same letter.
Oh, nice.
Your show's canceled! Your show's canceled!
It's back.
Wanting to learn about stagecraft...
is an act of nobility.
You know, even if it's just because dance was full.
Something that we like to dig into here...
is the art of the spotlight.
No offense, but this is really easy.
Can you make it harder?
Okay.
You know, if there was a real dancer on stage, that would be...
that would be different.
Better, probably.
Whoa, that was amazing.
Let's take a break.
So we have like...
You never
- Listen to me - Yeah.
And then...
- Daddy - Yeah.
I want her to say that loudly.
- Write that down. - Like guttural.
- That's very Joan. - A guttural "Daddy."
It would be great to go into the first rehearsal...
with like, three or four songs.
For Joan's song at Studio 54, I've been thinking...
Lower now
Okay. That's good.
What are we doing for, in the Wall Street piece?
Selling the stock Buying the stock
It's tap.
- It's tap. - It's tap.
- Like, stocks and bonds. - Stocks things
- Bonds and selling - Stocks.
- I work on Wall Street - Stocks.
I don't know when I'm gonna be able to really get to the finale.
Yeah, yeah, I got it.
- You can take that? - Yeah, I got it.
So, I'm writing, Rebecca-Diane...
finale.
It's for her. It's all for her.
It's for her.
Well, it makes sense. I've been taking tap since I was two.
- Oh, my gosh. - So, I'm like... That's why I, like, have it.
Performers, attention.
Welcome to the first rehearsal of Joan, Still.
I'm not gonna sugarcoat it.
Emotionally, physically and spiritually...
this is our most complicated piece we've ever tried to do.
Most ambitious.
Now, we only have three weeks to create a masterpiece.
It's on you now. It's up to you.
So that's on your shoulders...
as well as Joan's well-being and her legacy. All on you.
But you so deserve it on every level.
You guys are so talented, so unbelievable.
This will break you.
This will fully destroy you.
Congratulations on being the most talented kids at camp.
On a "mi," go.
Mi, mi, mi
I'm just gonna go and see if there's any alcohol that's been confiscated.
I'll just grab it and I'll meet you at the fire pit?
You know what? I just can't. I can't come tonight.
I'm having insane creative inspiration.
- It's just coming out of me at all ends. - No.
Rebecca, Rebecca. I'm not going to the staff hang without you.
I'm gonna get stuck listening to a story about how Clive was nude for the entire '80s.
And the dancers start applauding for me.
And I had no idea why.
But, of course, I obliged them with a deep curtsy.
And as I'm bowing, I realize I'm still nude.
Oh, still nude.
Let's do a toast.
-Shall we, a toast to Joan? - Praise be.
Right? A little toast. Let me top everyone off.
I can feel that her spirit is with us right now.
Yes.
- She's here. - She's here. She's here.
I have a little story for us.
So I was a camper here and Joan said to me...
she looked me in the eyes, she said...
"You're untalented.
"You can't dance. You can't sing.
"You can't act.
"You're very bad at this.
"But you look amazing.
"Your skin is glowing and your outfit is unbelievable."
And she was right.
At camp, we have a tradition.
Every night, a staff member or counselor is gonna come in here and do a show for you.
Tonight was supposed to be Joan's night...
but Joan isn't here.
So tonight, I am going to take her place...
and read you a special bedtime story.
My friends, by the fire with my friends
Having fun with my friends
Gorgeous. Thank you, Rebecca.
Sorry. Sorry.
I just feel like this mood is getting kind of like, sad.
You know what I mean? Let's get crunk a little.
Janet.
What are you doing here at the camp?
Oh, I mean, like, what are any of us doing here...
- at the camp? - No, no, no.
What are you doing?
I just wanna say your energy is so chaotic.
- I don't think so. - And I actually do some energy healing...
and any time you wanna talk outside class, I'm really happy to sit down with you.
I'm chilling. You know what I mean?
I don't like this type of...
voice.
This is my voice.
No, I think it sounded different three seconds ago.
No, that's how I talk.
"She was so excited to be at this Equity open call.
"But she'd been waiting for hours and hours.
"She could hear people singing on the other side of the door.
"And then finally, it was her turn.
"But when she walked in the room, the men turned her away...
"because she was non-union."
The end.
We at one time were going to pursue an education in the theater...
and we both actually auditioned together for a little-known institution called Juilliard.
We were in the waiting room, you know. I had my monologue all prepared.
I was doing "Gallop Apace," Juliet.
She had Romeo in the tomb.
And then...
Gerald walked into the waiting room. Gerald '08.
Gerald '08 walked in.
Just to catch you up, Janet, we had a torrid affair.
Lot of, like, will they, won't they.
The camp was all abuzz about it.
We never really spoke or touched or kissed, but it...
You know, it was on everybody's lips.
And so he really threw my pH balance, like, way off.
And Rebecca could feel it, too, because we kind of share a soul.
And we are linked artistically, emotionally...
Completely. We are one.
You're codependent?
Well, no, I would say that we're dependent on each other.
So, anyways...
we were inches from a callback, slipped from our hands.
It didn't happen.
- It didn't go our way. We both bombed. - No.
Bombed.
Yeah, we've always wanted to do a gender-reversed production...
of Romeo and Juliet.
Why don't you do it?
Well, I would love to do it with you.
And I've been working really hard and taking...
I mean, you know, the absolute goal at the end of the day...
is, of course, to perform...
but I don't think we're quite at that place.
Ay, yikes.
Hi, Mr. Rubinsky...
this is Carl from Warwick Bank.
If you do not make a payment on your mortgage this week...
we will initiate foreclosure proceedings.
Please take action to avoid repossession of your camp.
"Repossession" means the action of retaking possession of something.
In particular, when a buyer defaults on payments.
Oh, what a beautiful...
Morning!
All right. First up, minor housekeeping issue.
Whoever stole my CBD gummies, please return them.
No questions asked.
I'm pretty sure I know who it was, so just go ahead and cough that up.
I can't sleep without them.
CisHet bitch.
Okay. Thank you for that.
Thank you.
Food has been so good. Keep it up.
- Hey, sorry. Are you... - Sorry.
No, it was completely my fault. You're fine.
Hey, do you wanna have lunch with me?
By the way, thanks for not telling anyone about the foreclosure.
I really appreciate that.
I don't know if I can do this, man.
I have no idea how my mom kept this place afloat.
I mean, the bank's way up my ass.
Plus, Tim keeps complaining about being woken up by the kids' singing.
Who's Tim?
My Airbnb bunk-mate.
This guy named Tim. That guy.
Hey!
I really can't afford a bad review right now.
I swear, dude, I can usually get down with any vibe.
But these kids, man.
They just don't wanna meet me halfway.
Every time I come up with a plan, they call me the Music Man
I don't even know what that is.
Well, it's a musical.
Everything's a goddamn musical here, man.
Well, yeah, it is.
'Cause it's sort of their entire lives.
Like those kids.
That's actually last year's cast of Rent.
It was a very formative production.
It's all about family. It's all about community.
Okay, see, that's...
- that's helpful. - Good.
What about them?
Those are Fosse kids.
If they snap at you, just know that they're not trying to be demanding.
It's just part of the vocabulary.
These kids are smart.
If you need their help, you just have to sort of meet them on their level.
And starfish, starfish...
starfish, and starfish.
Jiggle like a jackal.
You need to know that only 3% of people make it.
The rest of them end up in a mental facility or on a go-go box in Hell's Kitchen.
Let's just get a few more selections today from my collected original works...
as we do every year.
That's a low blow, Eileen.
And don't pretend my IBS...
isn't part of why you haven't wanted to touch me in almost a decade.
It's got nothing to do with your IBS, Roger.
I want you to live a little bit more with the reality of having IBS...
and what that might do to your character.
Because I'm not really feeling the detail of the IBS.
I wanna live, Mother.
Let's just try to throw some different spices in there.
A little bit of pain, a little bit of stepfather.
Got it.
So hand me my goddamn lipstick.
And let me live.
Good.
Mostly a lot better.
Thank you, Darla. Take a seat.
Okay. Today's a new thing.
I'm teaching...
stage combat.
What is it?
It's the art of surprise.
It pushes the envelope of what theater can be.
Absolutely.
But also what do we think it is?
It causes our heart to skip a beat, but safely.
Does anybody have an answer that's like, not poetry?
Maybe? You know what I mean?
Like a legal definition of what it is.
It's basically like teaching us how to fight.
We are starting our past lives seminar.
You were a nurse in World War II.
You fell in love with one of your fellow nurses...
and you were the first lesbian nurse couple that had ever lived.
Let that inform your singing.
You were President William Howard Taft.
You are the oldest soul in this room.
This is your last life.
Wow, thank you all.
Thank you all for that.
All right, artists. Next, we're going to be doing some...
I'm so sorry.
I'll be back. I just have to take this.
It's all good.
Hello?
Hi. Yes, I can be available tonight.
Sorry to interrupt.
Get out!
All right, all-stars.
Look at this turnout.
Yes?
Are we doing a cabaret?
- A what? - I think it's a night of scene work.
That's totally what this is. It's a night of scene work.
And here's the scene.
You guys are the staff...
of a fine dining establishment.
So anything those guys in there order...
you say, "Yes," and then you bring it to them.
Like an improv exercise.
Can we make up our own characters?
- And do accents? - Okay.
Let's just get together here, Rotarians...
... and kick Oklahoma City's fundraising ass.
Should we do that? Cheers!
-Cheers! - Cheers, cheers!
We're here thanks to Troy Rubinsky.
- We're happy to have you guys. - Thanks so much.
Thank you. Good. And I guess we're gonna get served by the campers here...
which I was not aware of.
Dressing? No. Is there...
All right. Well...
Hey, just eat it dry, I guess, huh.
It's crazy that this is their first immersive theater experience.
I know. We have a big responsibility.
Can I offer you a roll?
Or the chilling tale about how I lost my daughter?
Reminder. Pay rent to mom.
Remember to check in with RD about the finale.
Papier-mâché nose.
Amos!
Rebecca missed her nighttime performance.
That doesn't sound like Rebecca.
Okay, but I'm craving a performance.
I think it's going pretty good.
The kids are getting real into it.
Your mom knows what she's talking about.
We help our own.
Men!
There's been an attack.
If this is how we go, it's been a pleasure serving with you.
My son! My son!
All of my children are dying in this war.
Are they getting too into it?
Save yourselves!
I just really wanna go home.
Well, as we all know by now, our bedtime performer is missing in action.
I really apologize.
Waiting for entertainment that's expected is a painful experience.
This is very impromptu, so I didn't really have anything prepared, but...
Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers. Wait.
The peppers were pickled when he picked them?
Peter Piper picked a priority.
And what was that priority that Peter Piper picked? Family.
Friends. Connection.
He picked a life.
These were triggers.
This has lasting effects, okay?
One guy had sort of a Vietnam flashback...
and you had kids serving liquor.
That's gotta be illegal.
It was interesting, but no.
- It was a bit. She was doing... - No. But let's settle on 40 bucks.
Troy, please. You let me down.
This did not work out.
Yeah. Okay.
Because I wanted to do silk wood and then she called it first.
Mikey. I'm still this close to signing Darla.
Alan?
I'm in a middle of a conversation.
You're supposed to be at dance class. Come on. Let's go.
Jeez. Fine.
- I even told her... - Alan!
- ... that she would get top billing. - Off the phone!
Just one second.
No seconds. Let's go.
How much for three bags?
That was never the rate. It has always been five dollars.
These better be genuine Throat Coat.
That's genuine Throat Coat. That's genuine.
I don't even recognize you.
Where is my little Joan gone?
I'm still me, Tata.
No, your face is a new face.
It's called rouge, Tata.
The cheeks of a hussy.
- Yeah, yeah. - Let's hold. Let's hold.
Devon, you are on the stage, but your partner is fully alone.
And I think you really need to...
I think that ultimately, Devon, you need to just kind of...
let in the pain of being a father. Like we need to feel that pain.
But I'm not a father.
I don't know how to do that.
Did Julianne Moore really have dementia?
No. No. No.
Do the connection exercise.
And then we'll try it again.
Deliver.
- Thank you for all you're doing. - Thank you.
Aren't you gonna say something?
You missed your bedtime performance.
That's so unlike you. What happened?
I'm so sorry. I was just finishing the finale and I got distracted...
Yeah, I'm sure... This finale, it's like this is repeated.
It's like, I love you, but, we're getting towards crunch time, okay?
And you have other responsibilities which I know you know.
I'm just playing catch up.
Okay, but just I need my gal with me, so...
- I got you. - Okay.
I'm still me, Tata.
No. Using your little hands to write letters to the devil...
and never once to shape pierogi.
Just because dumplings aren't my priority anymore doesn't mean any...
You never once sent a suitor home to your dying Tata.
This is not the Joan that I know.
You know what, Tata?
You're right.
I decide who Joan is, and I may not be who Joan was...
but, Tata, I am Joan, still.
- That got better. - Better.
That got better.
Very good. Devon, the accent's...
- all over the place, but it's much better. - Yeah. Mackenzie, extraordinary.
Mac. That was so good.
- Thank you. - Amazing.
- She killed it. - Stop!
She's using.
Lift up your hands.
She wouldn't.
Tear stick.
It's just Chapstick, I swear.
Give it to me.
Oh, my God.
Mackenzie, I'm not mad. I'm just furious.
Your tears should come from within, from the story...
from the words on the page...
not from some emotional grenade that you smuggled in.
What's a tear stick?
Insult to the material. Okay?
It's a mentholated eyeliner that helps you cry.
Joan is screaming and furious at you.
Because tear sticks are doping for actors.
Do you wanna be the Lance Armstrong of theater?
No.
Get off the stick.
One day it's tear stick.
The next you're calling for line...
and pretty soon your understudy's on eight times a week...
in Weehawken or God knows where. Okay?
It's a slip-ry, slip-ry slope.
Devon, I'm so sorry.
Really, it's fine.
Tell him you're sorry.
I'm sorry, Devon.
It's really fine.
I choose to forgive.
But we don't forget.
But until the end, the law can forgive.
But without ever forgetting.
Hi! Welcome to AdirondACTS. You guys having fun?
Enjoying the party?
Oh, my God, Lainy, why would you do that?
You piss me off, like, a lot.
Let's go.
Stage combat.
You think this is fun and games? Hitting?
- It's not funny. You're right. It's art. - No. It's not.
Grow up.
Excuse me. Have you seen Rebecca-Diane?
Is she out there? No?
Enjoy.
Where is she?
Yo, what up, AdirondACTS?
Welcome, Lakeside.
Just want you to know this is not a free event for you.
Okay? Unless you're verified.
Thanks for coming out.
Man, this is a dream show for me.
I know this one's a theater camp classic, so...
thought I'd put a little twist on it.
Give my regards to Broadway
Remember me to Herald Square
Send my regards to Broadway, bitch!
Whisper of how I'm yearning
- To mingle with the old-time throng - Put 'em up! Put 'em up! Put 'em up!
Give my regards to Old Broadway
- And say I'll be there 'ere long - That's what's up!
I know you're busy, so I don't wanna take too much of your time...
but the vibes are pretty good in there, huh?
- Sure. - That was me DJing.
But look.
So I know, you know, the Rotary Club thing didn't really go to plan.
You took a lot of my kids out of rehearsal for that.
I get that and I'm sorry, and I'm still perfecting the formula here...
but I've recently had, like, a surge of ideas...
you know, that would bring some additional revenue.
You know, one of 'em is, like, maybe we send the kids...
into the city to do, like, singing telegrams.
Okay. Incredibly dangerous.
Maybe we do like remote students.
- But, okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. - Maybe, maybe...
We don't need any of these ideas, okay, Troy?
- We don't need any of these ideas. - Yeah.
Your mother managed to keep this place running...
in the face of a lot of financial trouble...
and never once did she compromise the artistic vision to save money. Okay?
Right. You know, that's kind of what I'm trying to get after.
Yes. No, no, no. I understand.
I understand that. But what you don't understand...
is the importance of what we do here, okay?
This place is for people who need it, okay?
People who aren't accepted anywhere else.
You are not one of those people, Troy.
You are not one of us.
Becks-Di?
Rebecca... Not her.
Be sure to cherish these relationships, okay?
'Cause they're gone in a flash.
Just wanted you to know that.
Of course, she's gonna cry.
I'm laying her off 'cause she cries too much.
- Mrs. Krauss. - Hi.
Dope that you made it.
I'm happy to be here.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
So, things have taken a bit of a turn here...
and I've been thinking about the offer.
Me too.
A lot.
Yeah.
I just feel like it would be a...
you know, lucrative and mutually beneficial partnership.
Like for the both of us though.
Wow. Well, that's great.
So, like, does the offer still stand?
Yes, Troy.
Barnswell would love to work with you.
Wow!
- Yeah. - Nice.
I have to say I'm super excited to work with someone...
who knows the TUVs of deal making.
Did you just say the TUVs?
- Trust. You won't regret it. And vibes. - Trust. Won't regret it. Vibes.
You've been watching my vlogs?
Religiously.
Stop.
The GoPro loves you.
- Don't understand. - I'm here having a wonderful time.
Devon!
Where?
It's not what it looks like.
What the hell is this?
We were supposed to be manifesting. It's a full moon.
They were saying no one at theater camp could play football.
I'm just proving to them that I could.
Oh, my God.
Good morning, girlboss.
Coffee. You've gone crazy.
I'm wild.
Oh, man.
Wow.
Thank you.
So, last night was pretty hot, huh?
It was really hot.
You were so bussin'.
I came here just to do work...
and I ended up meeting someone...
- who took my breath away. - Same.
Then, like, shoved it back in my mouth.
God, I just feel like I can really, like...
reach my full potential here. You know.
Yeah. Me too.
With Barnswell's backing, like, I can finally...
you know, start to implement some real change around this place.
Troy, don't you remember the agreement that you signed last night?
Yeah, it was to get us out of the foreclosure.
Welcome to Tech Week, campers.
Performances are just a few days away...
so let's stay focused on bringing those shows to life.
And if you have any issues, you look for Glenn.
I'm sure he'll have time to help you.
Glenn.
Go for Glenn.
Glenn, we need you in props.
Glenn, where's our bush?
Glenn, where's my damn wagon wheel?
Glenn?
Glenn, what's your 20? There's a leak in the lobby.
Glenn, we're missing the king's cane.
Oh, my God, Gigi, move it along.
- I'm trying. - This is not giving.
I'm trying, okay? My nails are gonna break.
Glenn, Glenn, the smoke machine is out of control.
Zeroing in on the source.
Oh, God, I'm dodging pilgrims left and right.
Nice.
- Thank you. - Glenn?
Go for Glenn.
Darla, can you just move a little bit to your right?
Just scooch the... Yes, bring the bassinet. That's right.
See? And I think it should just be a little bit to the left.
I think it just doesn't make sense.
Darla, step to the right.
No, I think we had discussed...
that everything would be on the left for this number, so let's just...
We're gonna go ahead and put it where we... Darla, this is your director speaking.
You're gonna go ahead and move to the right with the bassinet.
Co-director here as well.
And just move on over to the left...
and get too far on that side so we can't quite bring you back.
Joan's whole world has been established stage right.
So you're gonna take two steps to the right.
That's where we always play her hero moments.
Now cheat out. Cheat out.
Why are you acting like this?
I'm just a little bit tired of co-directing with a ghost.
Well, I'm not a ghost.
I am a human person that is alive. I am here.
I care about this show.
Do you? I wouldn't have any idea.
You've been completely absent since the beginning of the session, okay?
And I need to run my rehearsal now.
So, thank you.
Darla, let's just run the song, okay? You're fine right there.
Music, please.
Thought my dreaming was done
All I needed was one
Revelation to show me my boy
That my life had truly begun
So I offer the sun
Salutation Hello to my Troy
I will build this theatrical place
Giving children a safe, loving space
It will grow from the magic and grace
That I see in your face
Rebecca-Diane.
Rebecca-Diane, can I talk to you?
No, I'm in the middle of tech.
Just...
- Troy. - Real quick. Real quick.
Know your dream's never done
You're my moon and my sun
My foundation, my beautiful Troy
Hey. Look. I'm sorry for even asking.
I feel really weird even bringing this up.
I don't have time. We're in the middle of tech week.
- No, I get that. - So just tell me what's up.
I get that. I just...
Do you think you could give my mom a message for me?
Yeah, for sure. I'll give your mom a message.
- No, no, no. Please. It's really important. - Troy.
- I hear that. - It's really important.
- I just don't have time. - Just tell her I need her help.
Say, "Troy needs your help."
Five, six, seven, eight.
We're going towards the nose.
Live it up and step.
Step towards the nose. Head to the nose.
I don't choose when she comes inside of me.
Okay, but can you just try?
Mom, please!
- What are you doing? - You said she was in you.
She's not in my breasts.
I'm not that... I'm not... That's not...
Tell her it's important. Just tell her... Please tell her it's important.
- Tell her it's really important. - Okay. Okay, I'm gonna... All right.
I just need to talk to her.
- Okay. - Okay.
Troy.
Mom?
It's your mom.
Mom.
Thank God. It's so good to hear your voice.
I know it's been a minute since we've chatted.
I miss you.
Kind of a lot.
You know, I'm sorry for not trying harder...
to understand what you were doing here...
with this place and this camp.
I was a kid, you know. I just wanted to...
go to sleepovers at Dakota's house...
and set cool away messages and make my Sims have sex and...
Troy, you said there was something that you actually needed.
- You're right. I always do this. - And it was urgent.
Look, I should have tried harder to understand what you were doing here.
Because, you know, I get it.
These people are really weird.
Especially Rebecca-Diane.
But they're wonderful.
Look, I messed up, Mom. Okay?
And I'm really sorry, and I hope you forgive me.
And I really need your advice right now, but I'm sorry I sold the camp.
Hey.
Rebecca-Diane?
What'd my mom say?
What the...
Rebecca-Diane, we are at a standstill.
Good work, you guys.
Yes?
Welcome back.
We need to see the finale now.
- Yeah. - We are out of time.
- So we need to hear it. - Let's do the finale tomorrow.
- Sounds good? - Okay, well, tomorrow's our only chance...
to run the entire show. So I at least need to hear it musically...
so I can block something, and these kids can start to learn it.
Because tomorrow they have to run it top to bottom and then perform it.
So let's hear the finale song, please.
It's just so unfortunate, because we do not have the track...
so that we don't have any way to play the song.
So you can just sing it for us.
I've lost my voice.
Okay, well... You're gonna have to find it again.
And we have this. So you can just...
play it yourself for us. Okay?
You love this.
There you go.
Who's excited to hear the finale?
And what is it called?
It's called...
"Camp."
That's original.
Girl with an open Snapple
A boy who's looking down
We all come here for
Summertime
Camp
Isn't home
But isn't it?
In a way
It kind of is
Oh, it
Kind of is
Let's raise a toast
But in the glass isn't alcohol
It's something more profound than alcohol It's truth
Drums, boom, boom, boom.
Flute.
Sustained.
All coming together for
Boom.
What the fuck was that?
It was the finale.
You're telling me that's something that you wrote before just now?
That's the song that you needed time away from meaningful traditions...
missing time with the kids...
ruining the process of creating this piece together...
because you've been running off working on the finale.
It was that?
Rebecca, I'm not an idiot, okay? You made that up.
So I'm just trying to understand what you thought we were gonna do today.
You were just gonna have these kids have no ending to the show?
You said, "I got the finale. I can do it."
So I trusted you like I always do.
What have you been doing all this time?
I got a job, okay?
What, like you're tutoring kids in singing?
What are you talking about?
I just signed a two-year contract with Duchess Cruises.
I'm a featured soloist in Cole Porter on the Waves.
So yeah, I've been a little distracted.
Sorry, you're taking a performance job?
Since when are you taking performance jobs?
Because I wanna be a performer!
Okay, I thought we were both full-time teachers aspiring to be performers.
When is that gonna happen?
I wanna perform.
Well, that's great. I just wish maybe you'd told me.
I always thought maybe we'd make that decision together...
- like we do most things. - It's impossible to tell you anything...
- because you interrupt everything that I say. - That's not true.
I do not interrupt everything that you say, Rebecca.
I'm just trying to share my feelings with you...
- Every single thing that I... - ... the way that I have for 15 years.
- Every single thing that I... - That's not true, Rebecca.
- Everything that I say. I am unable to... - That's not true, Rebecca. That is not true.
How could you do this to me?
You?
This has nothing to do with you.
Exactly. Why would you do something that has nothing to do with me?
Let that statement just sit in the space.
It looks great. I stand by it.
I mean... What?
I don't understand what you're getting at.
I just want something else. That should be okay.
That's really nice for you, Rebecca...
but you shouldn't leave the best kids in the camp in the lurch...
with no show to perform.
- Okay, I've... - That was selfish.
I make sacrifices for them.
Because they're talented and they deserve it.
I sacrifice everything else in my life for this job and for them.
What do you sacrifice?
I got a callback for Juilliard.
And I didn't go because I wanted to be here with you.
You've just kinda been lying to me for like, 10 years.
I'm happy for you, Rebecca.
I'm thrilled for you.
I think it's great that you've left these kids...
with no show...
and all for a cruise.
A non-narrative piece on a cruise.
- Excuse me. - Hi.
Guys, this is a teardown.
Can we get this up? Can we see what's under here?
Yeah, we're gonna tear the...
- Maybe don't. Maybe... - ... the place down.
- Let's see what's under here. - Do we need to do this?
Let's talk this out first. I don't think we need to do that.
Sorry, we're in the middle of rehearsal.
Hi. We're in the middle of something too. Hi.
Troy, what's going on?
No, it... Everything's fine, guys.
Everything is gonna be okay.
- It doesn't look okay. - No, it's not.
No, it's not. What are they doing?
Listen, I know this place meant a lot to you.
But I do hope you'll consider joining the Lakeside family next summer.
- No. Not happening, lady. - What does that mean?
Troy, you sold the camp to Lakeside?
It's more of a partnership.
- Demolition is next week. - Just stop. Please, stop.
- Next week? Tell them... - Can she be gone now?
Please. Nobody wants you here.
Get her and her knockoff Chanel bag out of here.
It will be okay.
Cheer up, kids.
- This is like, my first time sneaking out. - Guys.
I know we're all scared right now...
and we don't know if the show's happening.
I heard that the Lakeside kids get to be in all the shows now, too.
Lainy told me that Troy smokes drugs.
I heard, that they're cutting all of the tone-deaf kids.
Hey, guys.
Rumors are rumors.
This could be our last week here. Maybe ever.
So let's make our mark while we can.
We don't know what's gonna happen.
But as Joan always says...
summers come and go.
But what happens on this stage...
that's eternal.
Jesus.
Hey, sorry to bother you, but are we planning on rehearsing later?
Let's see. Our composer has deserted us...
and I refuse to tell a slapdash, trainwreck version of Joan's story...
so, no.
The show is dead in the water.
Okay, well, I have this Zoom director's session...
for a movie about a pregnant gymnast.
They're already filming, and someone dropped out.
And I was wondering if you could help me?
I can't stomach industry sides right now.
So just let me hang my shirts in peace.
I could really use your help with the characterization.
What are the character's allergies?
- What? - Oh, God, we have a lot of work to do.
Let's get a notebook, and let's start taking some notes.
Wow, "one of," I'd love to know who these other teachers are.
Here he comes.
Hi, baby!
Hey, Dads.
Oh, God, I missed you.
My guy, massive news.
I think I figured out how to save the camp.
How?
So I was going over the Barnswell deal that I signed...
like all last night and this morning...
and I noticed they only take possession of the camp...
if the bank forecloses.
Caroline just assumed that we would fail. But the truth is...
we still can come up with the money to hold off the bank.
And how do you expect us to find this money, Troy?
That is where the en-Troy-preneurship comes in.
- Right. - I sent out an email blast...
to my ride or dies...
the Founding Ballers, and I invited them to the show.
Right? These guys are like primo business influencers, Glenn.
So if they come here, and they see our little freaky-deakies...
in action, crushing Joan, Still...
they'll have to invest.
They'll be emptying their pockets.
Yeah, no, they sound extremely legit.
Yeah.
And I think it's nice that you wanna do this for the camp...
and for your mom...
but we don't have any creative visionaries left. Okay?
What are you talking about? Yes, we do.
We have you, Glenn.
Show everyone how much they've been underestimating you.
Finish the job.
- Yes! - Totally, Glenn. Come on, Glenn.
Glenn, you got this.
Come on, Glenn.
What do you say, man?
What's up, my little dollar ballers?
It's your boy Salem here with my other Founding Ballers out here.
And we're out here checking on a potential investment opportunity.
Things are a little crazy, and your boy, Salem...
I'm feeling a little volatile.
So I'm gonna take a chance,
- and we're gonna see some little kids... - Ballers. Wow.
- Given the current ecosystem of the crypto... - The whole squad. What's up, Salem?
Yeah, give me a second here. Yeah, I'm just gonna finish this one quick.
Yeah, yeah, totally crazy.
What's bussin'? What's bussin'?
Hey. What's bussin', guys?
- I can't believe you guys came. - Yeah, man. Thanks for having us.
I've seen like every vlog.
- Oh, yeah? Yeah. Yeah. - I got your merch. I have that shirt.
Heard she's the lead in this one.
I just wanna say thank you all for all your hard work...
in the last 24 hours.
I look around and I see a lot of prepared faces.
I'd say no pressure, but...
it's a little bit of pressure.
You know? Gigi, you got anything?
I would like to say that I was very angry with you guys a couple hours ago.
But I'm over it.
All right, guys. Put your hands in. Come on.
One, two, three!
Joan, Still!
Let's do this!
Sorry. Can someone just tell me like, the status on this woman?
Is she alive or dead?
You're a liar.
Excuse me?
A very good one.
I think you'd make a fantastic agent.
I'm trying to get my company off the ground.
Think about it.
I'm always here.
Excuse me.
Kids. Kids, have you seen Darla? Darla anywhere?
Darla!
Darla, you have to go on.
You see what they're doing?
They're ruining our show.
Why are you leaving?
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Amos, okay?
You must be Amos.
My granddaughter has had the best time with you this summer.
We have got the most gushing letters.
Well, she said you were a little tough on her, but...
her craft has never been better.
Hurry up and say your goodbyes, honey.
Quickly, because we don't wanna catch traffic.
You always told me that I needed to open myself up to character roles...
that ingénue isn't everything.
I listened, and I booked the job.
Maybe I'll see you next summer.
Good evening, AdirondACTS.
Special shout-out to my crew, Founding Ballers.
Thanks for coming out.
As most of you know...
my name is Troy...
and I've been blessed with having an amazing mother.
- A woman... - Oh, my God.
all of you know and love.
Unfortunately, she is unable to be with us tonight.
So we've decided...
to bring the show to her via a live feed.
Give it up for Joan!
She really looks good.
I think she's lost weight.
I think so, too.
Our kids have worked their little butts off all summer...
to do my mom's story justice and to hopefully bring you...
the best night of your lives. Are you ready?
This one's for you, Mom.
Let's blow the roof off that ICU!
Joan then
Joan now
Joan does
Somehow
Troy, it's me. Troy, it's me.
You know, I don't think this show is gonna work out.
Joan will
Are you playing a game?
Joan can
Joan still
Tonight we take you to the start...
of our great founder's beating heart.
Our tale begins in '63. A young girl and her father flee.
Though planes could fly and girls could vote...
for some reason, they took a boat.
America
We're sailing to America
In 1963
Oh, my little Joan, come.
Look at the horizon.
Think of all the possibilities that await you.
In America
Enlightened nation
Where even women get education
From clean to cook, every skill you need
Don't fret, I'll tell the recipes
'Cause women cannot read
Hey! Women cannot read
Women cannot read
A, B, C, D, she don't know 'Cause women cannot read
- Okay, I know there's something better - America
- Than to cook and do the cleaning - Enlightened nation
- But I look at every letter - Where even women
- And I wanna know its meaning - Get education
- I'm wrestling with these words - From clean to cook
- That I'm an inch away from knowing - Every skill you need
My eyes are moving back and forth
The sense of it is growing
Jifka was shot!
Maybe she can read
- No way! - Maybe she can read
That's luck A, B, C, D, she can't know!
Or maybe she can read!
So Joan ended the affair with her astrology professor...
and she used her diploma to get a job as a mailroom clerk...
at the New York Stock Exchange.
If I'm not making money, then I'm losing money.
If I'm losing money, you're losing your job...
and you're all fired!
From my corner in the mailroom Under the ground I hear
The Wall Street noise!
It's a beautiful sound Sorting letters, getting older
Makin' minimum pay While the brokers get richer
I could listen all day
When you buy, it's the feeling Of a-jumpin' to the ceiling
Buy the stock Buy the stock
Then martini time, boys.
Will I ever be part of the Wall Street noise?
It's a shimmy in the shoulders When you talk to the shareholders
Guiltless greed is one of life's great joys
Maybe someday I'll stomp In the Wall Street
Noise
They messed up one little turn, but it's okay.
- I didn't see it. - I think we should just move forward.
Sell the stocks shareholders buy Sell the stocks shareholders buy
Sell the stocks, shareholders!
And as Joan rose through the ranks of the company...
and her profits grew and grew...
so did she!
Is that the tech guy?
Somebody get me portfolios on line four.
I'll be in my corner office.
Sure thing, boss.
Let's do this.
You do this You do that
Fix that graph and get me stats
Now she's top of the heap Down with dirty dealing
Got the checks Got the cash
And I'm smashing that glass ceiling
Now she's part of this sound
And I found my voice
As she's making people millions Screwing innocent civilians
With her fab flap and brilliance In the Wall Street
Noise!
Studio 54!
Dark room Bright lights
Debbie Harry wearing tights
Stiff drink High heels
David Geffen doing deals
Lovers and strangers and big chandeliers
Got no home to go to
So I'm staying here
- Live it up - Like there's no tomorrow
Tomorrow, give it up
To the groovy
- Disco glittery light - Disco glittery light
Live it up
'Cause if there's no tomorrow
Nothing matters to me
So get lost inside the boogie tonight
And cue cocaine.
- Live it up - Don't you have school tomorrow?
Give it up
Suddenly, the disco doesn't feel right
Clears away The troubles and the sorrow
Someone's gotta save ya From degenerate behavior tonight
Quick. Give me your hand, little girl.
I'll save you.
I'm an artiste, and artistes don't need saving.
Sometimes they do!
Wow, Joan. You were right.
I guess I did need your help.
Have you ever considered becoming...
a teacher?
I'll make it through tomorrow
Only gonna have three cocktails a week
I'll quit my job tomorrow
These children matter to me
So I'll apply to SUNY
Tonight
Jesus, he's good.
Thought my dreaming was done
All I needed was one
Revelation to show me my boy
That kid's good.
I'm gonna make him a star.
I was actually just thinking the same thing.
Now I offer this sun Salutation
Hello to my Troy
I will build this theatrical place
Hey.
Hey, do you like this?
I'm over here, I'm like...
And finally...
after selling her father's beloved pierogi recipe for a small fortune...
Joan purchased a beautiful plot of land...
located right in the middle of the Adirondack Mountains.
This land is beautiful.
And the stage could go here.
And all the children looking for somewhere to belong.
I can almost see them.
A girl with an open Snapple
A boy who's looking down
The faces and the memories
That we have from right now
Raise a glass for everyone
That will come through these halls
But in the glass isn't alcohol
It's something more profound
And the halls aren't halls at all
Of course, they're trees
And lakes
And birds
We all fly
To find a place we can belong
We all fly
To find a place we can call home
Camp isn't home
But is it kind of?
Kind of it is
I think it kind of is
Camp isn't home
But is it kind of?
I think it kind of is
Where every kid picked last in gym
Finally makes the team
Where square pegs find their holes
And outcasts find their dreams
It's a melting pot where belting girls
And boys in tiny shorts
Come to find forever friendships
Just four hours from New York
We all fly
To find a place we can belong
We all fly
To find a place we can call home
A place we can call Joan
Camp isn't home
But is it kind of?
Kind of it is
I think it kind of is It kind of is
Camp isn't home
But is it kind of?
I think it kind of is
We all fly
Camp taught me that my words are powerful.
Without camp, I would've never known I could sing a high F above middle C.
At camp, I learned that you don't have to be pretty to be talented.
It's just a bonus.
I'm sorry.
- I'm sorry. - You finished the song.
It's so beautiful.
I did it for you.
You should do whatever you wanna do...
and pursue your dreams, okay?
I'm going to stay here.
If there is a here, I belong here.
Well, I'll come back all the time.
- Promise? - I promise.
You're not getting rid of me.
At camp, I learned to live in my truth as a heterosexual man.
We knew.
We always knew, buddy. Good job.
Glenn is amazing.
Glenn is so good, it makes me upset.
- It's insane. - It makes me upset.
We all fly
Camp isn't home
But is it kind of? Kind of it is
I think it kind of is
Camp isn't home
But is it kind of? I think it kind of is
Camp isn't home But is it kind of?
Kind of it is I think it kind of is
Camp isn't home
I think it kind of is
I hope I see you next summer.
Thanks for being so hard on me.
I know it was for a good reason.
Harness this pain and use it in the future, okay?
Camp isn't home
But is it kind of?
I think it kind of is
Joan, Still
Yeah.
That's lit!
- Bravo! Bravo! - She's awake!
I have no idea what this was...
who set this up, why I'm watching this...
but what a pleasure!
What a thrill! What talent!
- Must have set it up in the wrong room. - You lifted my spirits, kids.
Yeah, that was my bad.
And Joan, what a woman she is.
But Joan, Still, right?
That is something to celebrate.
I can't wait to see you on Broadway.
You kids are wonderful.
You're all going to be big, big stars!
Don't let Troy run the camp!
You're up, huh?
I just saw a whole show about your life.
The kids did an amazing job.
Camp isn't home What a song.
You slept through it. I watched it.
Well, do you know why I'm here?
No.
Bye class
We're done
The ghosts of our past selves are done
We are gone, we are gone
We are now new people
We are now the children of the plants
Thank you guys so much.
I'll see you next week.
Or tomorrow. I don't remember.